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The Most Useless Ones, Ranked –

Gordon James by Gordon James
February 22, 2022
in Latest
306 16

You know I love Araki, and the stalls are where the show really got going (despite some severe growing pains). But they’re not all the same.

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We made the best stands, the best characters, the best plays… …but it’s too much of a good thing. Let’s turn everything upside down and play devil’s advocate.

Down at JoJo’s, we go to the most uncomfortable or worst places.

10. Hnum

Hnum is the state of Oingo in the Star Crusader industry, and has terrible statistics – A in persistence and E in everything else.

It can change the appearance, size, weight, aroma and voice, but not the clothing or personality.

Despite having played in some of the funniest episodes of JoJo’s Funny Adventure, his potential has never been fully realised. Because Oingo is a bit of an idiot and thought it would be nice to use Hnum against a group of people, not one person.

Therefore, Hnum’s effectiveness depends on his knowledge of the person who will reproduce Oingo (and in the Star Crusader industry this is not very good).

9. Love Suite

JoJo's luxury love booth.

Love Deluxe is Yukako Yamagishi’s diamond stand, which is inseparable and completely attached to her hair.

With a range of about 10 meters, Yukako can manipulate, grow, pull or distract her hair, allowing her to adopt an offensive and defensive stance with many flaws.

It can be detected, burned or set on fire by unusual users and will turn white if damaged.

However, in a scenario that is close to reality, it can be harmful. But against most users of the booth it is not very effective.

8. Tenor Sachs

Tenor Sachs is an abbreviation for JoJo.

Tenor Sachs – Kenny G.’s booth on Stardust Crusaders.

I bet you forgot about her, ’cause I sure forgot about her.

Kenny G. keeps a few plates in the manga and a few minutes in the anime. As far as we know, it may have amazing potential – but not enough, of course, because it was shipped so fast.

It can deform the inside of the building and turn it into a maze, and Kenny G uses it in a DIO villa to make it even safer with illusions.

Unfortunately, it’s more of a defensive stance with some offensive power. But it can’t manipulate flavors, so it’s not effective against people with stronger noses.

7. Akhtung Kid

Status of Akhtung children

Attention Baby is Shizuka Joestar’s stand in Diamond Indestructible, a small child found and adopted in the middle of Joseph Jostar’s role.

She could become invisible, and that’s all we know about Akhtung Babi.

It is possible that she will get even better later on, because she has an A in developmental potential and is very young.

His greatest asset is his ability to make his surroundings invisible.

As long as it is related to her emotional state, it may be because she is a child – frankly, Akhtung Babi has great potential, but not in this state.

6. Crafts

The JoJo craft cabinet

Bastet is Mary’s position in the stardust of the Crusaders.

It looks like a moving electrical socket and has only one capacity, which – although impractical – is not mass-producing and is relatively fast.

His appearance, however, is hilarious.

When you touch Bastet, you become a powerful magnet whose power gradually increases.

This means that in the beginning forks and spoons will fly towards you. But in the end, the car will attract you, too. It can be used against different people, which is amazing.

But unfortunately Basteth can be used against Mary. And so they’ll kill her.

5. Hermitage Violet

Purple stand of the Hermitage JoJo

Hermit Purple is the stand of Joseph Jostar, but also uses DIO (with the body of Jonathan Jostar).

Given that this is the state of the two previous Jostars, it’s ridiculously low.

While hermit Purple acts as a sweeping rope, it can also be used primarily as a fortune-telling technique to pursue or follow a goal through technology and the exchange of objects.

Joseph can also use his hermit violet to convey his wavy Hamon as a conducting string. It has a certain versatility, but compared to the stands shown even on Stardust Crusaders, it is incredibly weak (especially in terms of offensive or defensive skills).

4. Grey tower

The Gray Tower to JoJo.

The Grey Tower is the position of a grey fly in the Sternenkreuzritter-Abval and it is the first position of our encounter with the Sternenkreuzritter-Abval on its way to the DIO. It’s bullshit. I’m not gonna lie.

The Araki have not yet understood the complexity of stand-up combat in later units, so we have a fly that can move very fast and has an unstoppable Xenomorphic jaw that can be used to attack.

The design is quite cool as it is actually a more imaginative and larger fly. And it can clearly move faster than platinum stars.

However, it is a short, ridiculously overwhelming life and a bad sign for the creativity that Stends later possesses.

3. Highway to hell

One hell of a rest stop at JoJo's.

The Highway to Hell is Thunder McQueen’s stand in the ocean of stone, and it would be the most useless stand in the series if some of the others we’re about to reach weren’t there.

The reason is that the highway to hell requires the user to kill them in order to work critically, making it a kamikaze attack.

Technically, this is a device for distributing the damage, value and pain caused by thunder is returned to the target.

This, in combination with the construction of thunder for life, creates a unique knockout from which the user cannot return.

But you can still lose consciousness and make someone else lose consciousness too. If you are part of a group, this can be useful.

2. Cheap tip

A booth with cheap stuff for JoJo.

A cheap trick is a stand in an indestructible diamond, which is characterized by the fact that we do not know the original user (only a few people get him, including Rohan Kishibe).

It grabs a man in the back and works like a curse. You don’t want the cheap trick, you want to get rid of it.

He is very talkative and focuses on the psychological destruction of the person to whom he belongs. Then it is aimed at attracting the attention of another so that he can see the master’s back. Then they kill the host and catch a new person.

It’s a murderous problem with very few positive things!

1. Holy Tribune

The Holy Tribune on JoJo

Holy’s stand was not technically titled and was one of the first stands ever before the mechanics were upgraded and installed.

Because of her weakened state of mind she acts as a shell of vitality and threatens to end her life.

This is why Stardust Crusaders travel to fight the DIO in the first place, because their resurrection has awakened their point of view.

She was a bit like Hermit Purple with patterns of flora and roses growing on her back. But in a way it’s even more useless.

This stand literally kills its user and cannot be touched or influenced by other stands, making it equally ineffective in battle.

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